Joy Beyond Our Comfort Zone

There is a saying that life begins outside your comfort zone. I’ve said it many times when I was coaching boxing to motivate people to push themselves, try harder, dig deeper, and test their limits. It’s how we get stronger and learn new things. I did that today and as expected, I was happily surprised with the results.

I’m a grandmother. It still sounds weird to me when I say it out loud and even weirder when I see it in writing. But I am, to three wonderful, active, and sweet little humans. The two boys were a bonus with my daughter-in-law and my granddaughter came along a couple of years ago. From the moment I met each of them, I knew the kind of grandma I wanted to be. I would not be the “knitting, baking, sitting idle while they played” type of grandma, although I like to do those things, too. No, I wanted to be the active, involved, playing with them type of grandma. In short, I wanted to be a cool grandma that they liked to hang out with. But it’s tough to build that kind of relationship. They live more than 800 miles away and we don’t get to see each other as often as I would like. How do you create a relationship with children you only get to see several times a year? Add to that my son and daughter-in-law do things differently than I did. Usually, it’s little things. They don’t read to them at night or tuck them in into bed. And when I’m there, I’m left feeling like something is missing. They don’t feed them like I did my son, and they interact differently. Doing things the way I raised my child is my comfort zone. But I remembered something recently that my mom once told me:

“There are a thousand ways to raise a child and none of them are any better than the others, if it’s right for the child.”

My daughter-in-law and grandchildren are up visiting family and friends and I decided to make a plan for one of the days I would get to spend with them. Rain was in the forecast, again, and our options for activities were limited on this holiday. So, I planned a day of getting lunch, and going to the trampoline park. We switched it to breakfast, not lunch, but that’s not important. What matters here is that I don’t do trampolines. I’m a middle-aged woman who has given birth so trampolines, strictly speaking, are not my friend. But the kids love them! (Read: this is the end of my comfort zone). So, I decided that’s what we were going to do!

“Grandma Judy, are you going to jump, too?”

Yes! I decided a long time ago that I was going to be the grandma that played with my grandchildren, the way they like to play. They don’t do the things I did as a child, nor the things I did with my son. But that doesn’t mean I can’t learn to do the things they like to do and risk looking or feeling ridiculous. So, I chased my grandchildren around, and I laughed, and I jumped! Not high, not as exuberantly as I might have, but I bounced. And I had a blast! And the next time I see them, maybe I’ll play a video game, or anything else they like to do. You see, I realized that my best memories of my grandmother were the times she just rolled with whatever we wanted to play, no matter how silly she felt.

Where our comfort zone lies is different for each of us, but when we take that step and go beyond what is comfortable, life is, indeed, very good on the other side. Be brave, be kind.