May. 24, 2022

Showing Up

I recently saw a video of a trainer that had been asked to help someone lose weight, a lot of weight. He told the person to go to the gym every day for 5 minutes. Just 5 minutes, but every single day for 3 weeks. Someone else told the trainer that didn’t make any sense, nobody could lose weight by going to the gym for only 5 minutes. But the trainer said, “ I wasn’t teaching him to lose weight. I was teaching him to show up. If something is truly important to you, you need to show up for it every single day.”

As a certified personal trainer, myself, I thought that was brilliant. But it goes beyond physical training. The things that are truly important to us, we should show up for. But do we? What can you say you consistently show up for every day? Many of us have a favorite TV show that we never miss. I’ve been guilty of that myself sometimes, telling people not to call after 8:00 p.m. on a certain night. When I think about that, I’m embarrassed. Have I really prioritized a television show over a relationship?

I also know people that never miss a day at the gym. They are there, faithfully, every day for their workout. Their health is important, so they have made it a priority and they show up every single day. That’s how you can tell what is truly important to someone – what you show up for is what you have prioritized.

So, then, how do we justify not showing up for those we love? Our children, our significant others, our parents, our friends. Are they not also worthy of us showing up for them? We may be good at telling people we are there for them, but do we put in the effort every day? Relationships are hard and they take work, but the work isn’t done from the sidelines. The work is done when our actions tell them, “You matter to me. You are worthy of my time and attention.”

We also must show up for ourselves and recognize when we need to step back and take care of our own heart. I have often told people that you can’t pour from an empty vessel. It’s important to turn inward and refill. Jesus frequently went off by Himself to pray, and refill. He poured out for others, showed up for others, every day but He would also take time by Himself to fill His cup again. It’s the balance of ebb and flow that allows us to be there for those we love. And it includes loving ourselves by showing up for the things we want in life.

We all have dreams and goals, bucket lists and wishes. So, we need to decide what matters, what is worthy of our time, and create a plan to make it happen. And then show up every single day, even if just for 5 minutes, and work toward that goal. If your goal is to travel, commit to saving a small amount of money every day. Or learning about your destination by reading about it for 5 minutes every night. Want to learn a new language? Practice a new phrase every day for 5 minutes. Want a better relationship with your partner or children? Spend 5 minutes every day in one-on-one conversation, looking in each other’s eyes and really connecting to them. I wanted to go deeper in my faith, so I spend time reading my Bible every day, and I pray every night as I fall asleep. It has softened my heart towards others and keeps me grounded throughout the day.

The point is to not let a day go by that you’re not working towards your goal, putting some effort into it. I think what you’ll find is that when you make showing up a habit, you will find a rhythm and spend more and more time on it. Relationships will get better, goals will get closer, and dreams will become reality. Surely, those things are worth 5 minutes of your time. Be brave. Be kind.